Allow me the rage
by SSUqbar
Summary: part 3 of 4 in my AU series: The Potion Master's Quartet; this is the sequel from Uncovered Glamours and Spies. Based off Half-Blood Prince. There is character deaths of at least two main characters and three minor characters. I may have gone overboard... but anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

So what if a select few of my colleagues know that I care;  
If they can see through the mask I had to wear.

But that's not the point, Draco… Draco has a mission of that I am certain; but what? What is that mission? To kill the headmaster, possibly I wouldn't put it past the dark lord to use Draco's failure as punishment for Lucius's failure at the ministry. Ah yes, the ministry. It all comes down to that bloody fiasco involving a pathetic glass ball and a teenager. Why not kidnap Trelawney or Dumbledore himself? How silly I answer my own questions all the time: that would mean somehow getting into Hogwarts; and facing me. Me, the spy; the traitor.

"Severus?" I look up, the usual staff meeting greets me. It announces any changes in the teacher line up; not that my name would have moved from dungeon to fourth floor, sixth door on the right hand side. No, I couldn't have finally got my dream job. Could I? "Have you been listening to a word I said?"

"Sir?" I place my copy of the daily prophet on a coffee table. The glittering of amusement changed to annoyance.

"I'll take that as a no then," the annoyance was gone as soon as it arrived and was once again replaced by his usual amusement. "Minerva," McGonagall's gaze met with the headmasters as he nodded towards me. "Could you kindly tell Professor Snape the bad news."

"Bad news?"

"Severus, you're still in the dungeons."

"That's not bad," I knew that I was beginning to sulk and I knew that Minerva knew this.

"True; but er the new defence against dark arts is someone you're not going to like," my eyes must have been narrowing.

"Who?"

"Your brother," I tried to let the chair swallow me; but it wouldn't.

"Which one?" only Dumbledore knew about my twin brothers.

"Erm the one who went to Durmstrang," I wouldn't let her finish since they both went to Durmstrang, and I told her as much. "Fine the one who didn't join you-know-who," she snapped at me.

"Tobias?" I slid off my chair onto the floor as I stared intently into the fire. I glared at the headmaster as he cleared his throat, "You're hiring Tobias Snape. And I thought you were mad for giving me a job."

"You ungrateful swine, Severus!" the tattered boot that was placed beside the mantle was replaced with a flash of light as Tobias' voice echoed through my brain; he hadn't changed. Despite the Snape twins being three years older than me, we all looked remarkably similar; the main differences were grey instead of black eyes, dark brown hair again instead of black and no damaged teeth. Unlike Septimus, Tobias was probably the most sensible of the three Snape siblings. Septimus died a death eater – against the auror's of Europe – no one in Britain knew him. Tobias stayed neutral and taught the good side of dark magic at Durmstrang. Most knew what happened to me.

"I'm not being ungrateful, Tobias." I stared at him for a moment, his harsh face was identical to fathers.

"Yes you are,"

"Am not,"

"Are to," neither of us removed our eye contact until the headmaster interfered.

"Gentlemen please." Albus had his hands in the air as a sign of apology. "Both of you have your own skills. Severus Britain's youngest Potions Master in nearly four centuries. Tobias you dear child are one of the few members of the supposedly dark families to give the light its best fighters."

"Yes Dumbledore; because we don't follow the lights rules. Do we, Severus?" he glared at me for back up. I stared at him.

"Have you ever read the Daily Prophet, brother?"

"No why?" I summoned the framed article of the most infamous light warriors on the opinion of my new fame – the event at the ministry; basically I didn't know that the Ministry of Magic had muggle CCTV. I gave it to him and watched as his mouth fell open. "You; but he thought it was Septimus."

"He always forgot that there was more than one SS in his ranks, but Septimus was of higher rank and couldn't keep a secret. Besides do you still love her brother?" I grinned demonically at him as he paled and tripped into a chair. I could see his brain thinking of a comeback.

"Yes brother; but what of your love? Did she forgive you before her death?" this time I paled, I knew if I answered that I would have to clarify for the sake of the flawed image. Instead I simply left the room, back to my dungeons; this year was going to be hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Tobias, was that necessary?"

"Unfortunately my dear lady it was," his cold glare could have peeled away Severus' mask and reduced the boy to tears. Had his brother always been so much like their father? But I could feel that this was going to be a hell of a year. Luckily for me Tobias had left for his new offices in order to settle in; I stared sharply at Albus – I hoped the man knew what he was doing. The headmaster of course, refused my gaze.

"Minerva," I heard the calming tones of Flitwick, Filius I could always trust on in a crisis – just like any Ravenclaw. I turned to him, "Yes Filius?"

"It's going to be one of those years, isn't it?"

"Isn't it always?" Albus had snapped himself out of his mind – which was a rather odd place.

"Too true; if you'll excuse me I'd better be off to find Severus, in case," I shrugged as I left, my first stop the library; then the dungeons. He hadn't the chance to go to the astronomy tower since last term.

(point of view change here: Flitwick).

"Do you think Severus will be alright with that other Snape here? I mean he's always been so private." I glanced nervously at Poppy she usually had something to say about Severus' poor state of health, but oddly she was quiet.

"Poppy, are you alright?" both myself and Pomona went and sat with her, as Pomona asked again, "Are you alright?" I asked:

"Are you ill?" it was a perfectly innocent question but Madame Pomfrey's reaction was intense.

"Don't talk to me about being ill." She sighed in an attempt to regain some sort of composure no doubt. "He has no idea about what he's done, Severus is unlikely to survive this year." She placed her head in her hands, rocking back and forth in her usual chair; she cried to herself completely unaware that both I and Pomona where still there.  
We looked at each other briefly as we both took our leave of the most eventful staff meeting Hogwarts had ever seen. I escorted Madame Sprout to her greenhouses and left for my own rooms to think on what had happened. One thing was for sure this year was going to be eventful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**.

The feast was its usual uninviting self for me, even more so than normal due to my brother.  
"Severus," speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Tobias," my voice was short as was my temper.

"Look young one; I'm sorry," he stuttered on the sorry, he was never accustomed to apologising – for anything.

"No need, all is forgotten," still my voice was short.

"Yes but not forgiven it seems," he couldn't let it go could he?

"I'm busy," I left to my class – although lessons wouldn't be on for another two days since it was a Saturday – and I wasn't really busy. As I left I had time to hear Tobias say:

"I worry about you, little one." I could tell he was going in the opposite direction; when I had entered my room, I heard the steps of Poppy Pomfrey who had stopped outside my door. Which I opened before she could knock.

"Poppy, is there anything I can do for you?"

"I was going to ask you that," the medi-witch seemed oddly quelled; no fierce tone of motherliness.

"The question remains unanswered Poppy," I gestured to the inside of my office to prevent her waiting in the corridor.

"I don't like him," she finally blurted out as she sat on the chair opposite my desk as so many others had done, but none quite so tense.

"Like who?" I thought I already knew.

"Your bloody brother, who else?" I was right. My eyebrows raised at her tone however I could not help it. She had clearly seen that I was not pleased, since there came on almost silent:

"Sorry,"

"No need," I waved her off, only to ask:

"Why are you here? Surely the headmaster will listen to your advice?" again I thought I knew the answer.

"Not likely," she sank into the chair almost becoming invisible as she grew smaller in its seat, "he doesn't listen to me about anything; least of all what's best for you." Pomfrey looked directly into my seemingly soulless eyes, it was then I knew.

"You told him what I told you in confidence didn't you?"

"I had to, it's part of my job. To tell the relevant authorities if that sort of abuse is going on." Poppy got the look, "I know; you don't see it as abuse. But don't you see Severus; you always came back with more injuries than you left with, I worried about you constantly. A child I could not save," her head was in her hands a position I knew only too well. "A child I could not save," she whispered off in her own world.

"Mother," my voice was soft, as if a child had spoken it. Her head jerked up at me instantly.

"You; you called me mother," she stuttered through tears.

"You were the only one I ever had; besides Lily and she was more like a sister or something," I shrugged, tears threatened to fall from my face.

"Bless you my child," we held hands peacefully for a moment before curiosity got the better of me.

"Why do you always call me my child?"

"You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger, but I ran away before any serious damage was done; you never had a chance. There was only one path you could have taken, all others were blocked from you." Know I finally understood her double meaning in 'you are not alone,' she had been trying to tell me. I snorted at the memory.

"Come on, let's get you back to your office and I'll even let you do a check-up for old times' sake," there that got her laughing it was always good to hear Poppy laugh – such a joyous sound, such happiness and peace.

(point of view change here: OC, Tobias Snape)

I heard the sound: as if angels had sung, such beauty; my heart bleeds as it hurt my diseased soul. Joy, happiness, laughter; I had never known it. The burning of my left forearm brought me back to my senses. I had no little brother, he had long since died to me; no I only had a twin and he had been taken from me by the murderer who hides behind the greatness of others like Dumbledore – the fool if only he knew what Severus was really like; so much hate and anger, all that hasted potential for the dark lord. I would have my revenge for my little brother and my twin; Severus Snape would die.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"He hasn't tried to call you has he?" Dumbledore and I were alone in the staff room; he must have taken my thoughtful expression for one of pain – easy to do they were fairly similar.

"No, just thinking,"

"Uh – oh, that never bodes well," I smiled slightly – well it was close enough.

"True, but it's been almost a month and nothing has happened. No kidnaps, death threats, muggle attacks; nothing, not so much as a single trap or fake plan. They are being far to quite."

"I agree, Severus and we must be prepared. Unfortunately there are times when I must leave at short notice over this term; you and Minerva will be on high alert. No need to fear." He patted my arm as we left, me to my private lab him for the great hall – I still skipped dinner much to Pomfrey's annoyance.

I was three corridors away from my sanctuary, my place of peace. Until the voices of Tobias and Sirius' where heard:  
"But I thought Snape was your brother Tobias?" at least Black had some sense to spit his name as if it was venom but more like poison to me. I paled at this response.

"He was once but he changed, betrayed us, that got Septimus killed. They said it was the dark lord himself but it was Severus. He's a cold-bloodied killer, never trust him."

"I have to, he saved me from Voldemort; nearly died to save me someone who hated him. Who was Septimus?"

"You had to ask didn't you Sirius; he was my twin. Severus' other brother," I could see him patting Black's shoulder – it made me sick – as he said "He often spoke highly of Regulus." With that he walked towards where I was stood, not that he could see me as I hid in an alcove. I could hear Sirius panting as he ran towards my private lab door – how did he know about that? Anyway if I didn't stop him soon there wouldn't be a door on those hinges anymore. I stood silently behind him, as I then cleared my throat.

"Ahhh," when he had calmed sufficiently he continued, "Snape?" he cut off seeing my look he must have guessed, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," I unlocked the door and pushed him in, lighting the fire as I went I asked, "How much did you believe?" my eyes were cold, dead almost. With another Snape around Draco was likely to go to him rather than me; and Lucius would trust Tobias over me – he was just like father.

"Why did you put the glamour's back on before start of term; the eye, scars all of it?" He seemed overly cross, so he believed Tobias then. No-one ever trusted a former spy – not even the side they worked for.

"Safer," was my simple response.

"Safer? For whom, Snape? You?" I couldn't speak his rage had come from nowhere. As he held me but my neck against the wall; it was colder than I remembered. When Black finally let me go, I felt myself sink to the floor and lose what little feeling I had left. All went black.

(point of view change here: Sirius).

As Severus slid down the cold stone wall, I looked at my hands – the hands of a now murder – but Snape moaned; thank God I'm still innocent. Sev was right I should never have trusted Tobias, as the panic set in my mind began to clear of the green haze that had inhabited it – the Imperius Curse? I shook myself from my panic as I gently lifted Severus Snape into my arms as I carried him to the hospital wing – on the other side of the castle. As I burst into the hospital wing, ignoring the stunned looks from the Slytherin students in particular, I yelled for Pomfrey who came instantly.

"Put him on the bed," I did so "What happened?" just as she asked that Tobias entered a look of shock on his face. He pointed to me yelling at the top of his voice,

"You! What have you done to him?" I was definitely taken aback – he was a better actor than Severus. All of us heard groaning from the bed that Pomfrey had asked me to place Snape on; all was suddenly quite.

"Severus, dear child who did this to you?"

"Tobias; brother," he stared pleadingly into the grey steel eyes that were harder than granite. I spoke before Pomfrey took it the wrong way.

"I don't think he heard you properly Poppy."

"No I suppose your right," she seemed defeated, I had never seen Poppy Pomfrey defeated before. And since she had barricaded herself in her office there was nothing I could do about it. "Tobias? Do you want a minute with him?"

"No he's a traitor, you should have killed him when you had the chance Black," he walked calmly out of the ward; I was beginning to get the feeling that one Tobias Snape was a cruel piece of work and two that he was getting me Sirius confused with Regulus. I knew I had to leave I was endangering Severus by being at Hogwarts. I had to go; I should have died at the ministry but Snape put his life on the line for someone who kept on hating him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **(point of view still Tobias)

"Ah Tobias I was beginning to think you had lost your way, but then you're not Severus and I am sorry for the deadly misunderstanding between myself and Septimus." The hissing of Nagini confused me, all that hissing sounded the same.

"My lord your apology is unnecessary; and that rat in snakes clothing will die by my hand for the dishonour he has done my family name," the coldness in my heart shocked me; was I really willing to kill my own brother? My own flesh and blood? Yes he had betrayed me, he was no longer my brother. Severus Snape would die.

"Your bloodlust is honourable Tobias but Draco this will be your mission,"

"My lord, I must protest, I must insist on killing this non-entity myself."

"No!" Draco? Why would he want this mission, I thought he trusted Sev – that rat. "I trusted him, he lied to me for years, he lied to my family; he lied to my lord. And for that I will rip out his tongue with my bare hands." I stared at the boy; my voice harder than expected.

"Very well Draco; but remember he will not go quickly, quietly nor easily. My lord if I may be excused I fear the headmaster will expect me by my brother's side, not that he is my brother anymore."

"I understand Tobias, take Draco with you; prepare him for what is to come and make sure the vanishing cabinet is working. I don't want to miss the look on the scabs face when he dies by our claws."

"Of course my lord," I dragged Draco to the apparating point and returned to Hogwarts; the headmaster had neglected to lock the back door – we walked straight in. I escorted the boy to the room of requirements to deal with the cabinet; I wasn't much of a carpenter. I went to Grimmauld place to deal with my agent who seemed to have broken his binds. No-one broke my Imperius Curse and lived to tell; not even Sirius Black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Draco it's been three weeks surely you should have finished with the bloody thing?" the glare I received was remarkably like Snape's. My classroom was empty bare us as everyone had been given permission to see Severus – I snorted to myself as I realised they thought him a hero; despite his own aversion to the limelight. Draco had fortunately neglected to go – something about not wanting to put too much pressure on the recovering professor – had Black kept his grip Snape would have died and I would have had the glory. All the glory, but no now I had to share with a sixteen year old boy and a Malfoy no less – they're arrogance was legendary.

"Well I'm not a carpenter," the boy was beginning to buckle under the pressure, a bead of sweat on his brow – a guilty conscious maybe?

"Be that as it may, if you needed some help I would have been happy to assist you." I could see the glare, "fine feel free to struggle on; if you'll excuse me I have a brother to emotional torment," I left the child sat at his desk, obviously in some faraway place.

Luckily the hospital wing was void of anyone but Snape in his bed, he appeared faraway as he stared emptily at the ceiling. Pomfrey was probably in the office crying from the failure to save one of her precious children. I left an unmarked letter next to his head, it contained a 'suicide' note from Sirius – hopefully Snape would tell Remus and get killed by the werewolf; my final single plan before he was killed outright. It would be another two days before he would wake up, Potter was having lessons with the headmaster but the Dark Lord didn't care for them. Why put anyone in such a disadvantaged position? But I had my own orders. Two more days of trying not to kill the Malfoy boy over a bloody piece of furniture.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7  
**(still Tobias)**  
**

"Who is there?"  
I knew the voice of Sybil Trelawney, looked like the inner eye had failed her. I nodded to Draco to hold the hand of glory it would lead our plan to success; well later it would. The cabinet was fixed – at last – and I got to give Trelawney a concussion – added bonus. But of course I would have to carry her to Pomfrey, say she feel down a stair case as it moved. Since it was my night on duty, I had to be out at odd hours; but being the Slytherin I was, I took Draco back to the common room first.

Upon my return to Sybil's unconscious body I noted that she was absolutely hammered, far too much sherry – I could see the bottles she had been trying to hide, I wondered if Dumbledore knew. But of course he did he always did. I bent down and threw her over my shoulder as carelessly as possible as I paced myself back to the hospital wing. A random thought occurred to me as I put Trelawney on one of the beds. Dumbledore; he would know of my betrayal, oh well I could get Draco to deal with Severus tomorrow; the headmaster would be leaving the school for the evening. Stupid old fool that he was, he hadn't bothered putting any additional patrols on apart from Severus. And speaking of; where was he? He shouldn't be out of the hospital wing yet. I'd dwell on that later; first I had to get Draco and then take our positions for the plan.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

(Severus' point of view)

I stared at the clear sky as I paid close attention to Orion, I could feel the heavens try to tell me something but what? A warning? That's what it had to be a warning; but there was only one way to be sure – Firenze. Since last year the centaur gave private readings to the staff on the ground floor, and for a fee he even predict Trelawney's death; but I knew part of her had already died. I took my time returning to my rooms for the night, I worried as I saw a light go out in the headmasters office – his lesson with Potter over for another evening – maybe the last knowing Albus' hand. Unless that was the plan, Dumbledore and Potter going on some trip to find as much information on Voldemort's childhood – even a wizard as dark as he, had to have some weakness. I was snapped out of my thoughts I heard Potter's voice behind me.  
"Professor Snape?" I turned,

"Yes Potter,"

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?" the boy genuinely seemed concerned about me.

"Probably, but I needed to get out of there," I shrugged.

"Fair enough sir," he continued on his way to Gryffindor Tower.

"Potter, I will escort you the rest of your way," I turned and followed him away from my dungeons.

"No need sir; I know a shortcut," he added sheepishly.

"Yes well, you will refrain from using it this evening for we are going the traditional way; besides Mr Filch is on the prowl and I don't want to deal with him tonight." I shook slightly as I thought I had given Potter too much information, but his confused expression said otherwise. We continued on our way in silence.

"Goodnight, Professor," Potter was stepping into the portrait hole. Despite my confusion as to how we got there so quickly my response was standard enough.

"Evening Potter, sleep well," I turned away from the fat lady as she shot daggers into my back. I couldn't see the problem I was only being polite. On my way back I decided to take Potter's shortcut, remarkably it worked as I was at my dungeon door in fifteen minutes compared to the usual forty.

"Severus shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?"

"Probably Tobias, where you coming to check on me; or something more sinister?" my snide comment seemed to confuse him although he appeared unsurprised by it.

"Whatever happened between us; know that I am sorry," he wasn't sincere I could tell.

"Sorry that you enjoyed beating me just as much as father did? Or where you just surviving?" I hissed at him, as I gave the password to the portrait of Salazar Slytherin which protected my door – the founder of my house knew to never let anyone other than Dumbledore and Pomfrey into my rooms; in case of emergencies only. Oddly, after changing my password, I slept soundly for once. Perhaps being nice to Potter had cleared some part of my conscience.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It was a rather quite patrol for both McGonagall and myself, lord knows why I volunteered to keep an eye on the astronomy tower and its surrounding areas; but I felt drawn to this place this evening. Perhaps since the headmaster and the boy left some hours ago and should be back by now was my reason, I could see the front gates from here. Of course whenever I did come to this roof I usually neglected to keep a look out of my surroundings – and tonight was no different. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the instant `crack' of apparition, and an insane amount of pain searing through my body.

"Nice shot Bellatrix," I shook the spell off me as I looked around to see Tobias in death eater robes.

"Hypocrite," I spat at him, even in my angered state I could see the longing in his eyes whenever he looked at Bellatrix.

"Now, now Severus you can't disrespect the uniform; you've worn it before. But then you were the most disrespectful; dishonest; disloyal and disobedient of any of us, weren't you?" Greyback had finally spoken. Good that gave me an excuse to kill him; he had polluted the air enough with his foul stench.

"Spectrum Sempra," I hissed, nobody reacted as they thought I had missed – I never missed – until Fenrir's head rolled down the staircase; his body slumped against one of the walls. Then it was all out war, in the chaos Lestrange had killed the Carrow twins – who had for some reason insisted on getting in the way. Even more strangely it wasn't Tobias who shouted...

"Enough!" when Bellatrix had her wand at my throat; smiling insanely.

"Draco? What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry uncle, but you betrayed us," his eyes where colder than ice. I heard the words I never had thought possible for Draco to utter. I actually couldn't move until a flash of fire appeared before me in the shape of Albus Dumbledore.

"Headmaster," my voice was an unnatural whisper – filled with fear – but not for me.

"I'm so sorry my boy," those were his final words as the green light hit him.

I couldn't think, everything I trusted was gone; Albus was gone. I managed to catch his body as it fell; I sent it to the hospital wing with a note for Poppy, to do anything to bring him back. I looked briefly at Tobias who seemed stunned at how badly his plan had failed; but it was Draco I was focused on. The boy – that's all he was – who murdered one of the world's greatest men; was smirking, hidden behind his deranged aunt. For once Bellatrix seemed to realise how much trouble she was in, as she immediately – upon seeing the apocalyptic rage on my face – summoned an old broom and fled. It was only then that Draco appeared terrified, Tobias desperately tried to shield the child – as I would have done – but in his attempts to coax young Malfoy to a safer place away from me; he carelessly tripped over the body of the female Carrow and fell backwards over the turrets of the astronomy tower. We both stared at the place he had fallen over; it was an ominous silence. The young Malfoy was trying to flinch away from me – although rage was still there – I couldn't kill him, so I simply stunned him.

It was rather useful really, when the order finally arrived to see the blood across my face; as whenever Draco managed to free himself he immediately attacked me – only to be stunned again. This only made the order believe my account of events over Malfoys; then again they would double check it with veritaserum.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The headmaster's funeral was being held at Hogwarts despite the Hogs Head barman insisting that he should be placed in Godric's Hollow – only the senior years of my Slytherin's refused to pay their respects. Until of course I threatened to inform the acting headmistress of not only their parents but also their own involvements with the death eaters. Most of them wondered why I would risk Azkaban, however Parkinson mentioned that I'd been there before and didn't care. But that wasn't technically true; yes I'd been there before until Albus got me out, but I did care – or else I would have killed Draco that night on the astronomy tower. I ignored all the retorts the Slytherin's could think of – they were no longer 'mine' – as I returned back to the service which was beginning soon.

I gathered my thoughts as I took my place at the back of the service. I noticed that the ministry officials were placed before family and friends, I couldn't grind my teeth as I saw both Fudge and Umbridge attempt to pay their respects – which I knew to be false. Minerva was now crying openly on the barman's shoulder. Who was he? Why did he seem so familiar to me? I snapped from my thoughts some five minutes later, Granger called my name.  
"Professor Snape?"

"Yes Granger," my voice was sore the raw emotions; it was pitifully weak. I'd be laughing stock for weeks, maybe?

"Where are the Slytherin's?"

"They should be here; why?"

"Only the fourth years and below, sir," my eyes flashed with rage, so much so even Granger seemed to worry that I might do something rash.

"Go to their common room, password should be obvious for you. Take a seat by the fire and read, I'll meet you outside the portrait hole; if you're not already there,"

"Right. Why, sir?"

"Because I'm going to put the cat amongst the pigeons, Miss Granger."

"Right," I pretended not to notice the smile on her face; at least I left a note for Minerva with Hagrid – well when she wasn't quite so emotional. But now I had to deal with the bloody snakes.

When I reached the common room, Granger was still outside a look of defiance on her face – so she had worked out the password but refused to say it. When she saw me approach she looked like she could kill something. I held my hands in an apologetic nature,  
"I don't make the passwords, or else they'd have to answer potions questions," that put a smile on her face, "but I'm afraid you will have to say it," I knew I didn't need to clarify this point but I also did. "After my fifth year I made a vow never to repeat that word, ever; not even as a password." She nodded, in a shaky voice came the word that ruined my friendship with the girl I loved,

"Mudblood,"

"It's nothing personal, you understand. The true meaning of that insult has been lost to time; not even Malfoy knows," I began to shake as I said his name. My godson murdered the man I thought of as a father.

"Professor?" Granger seemed scared, I couldn't really blame her – she was a lion walking into snake pit – and it was quiet, to quiet.

I had been expecting a celebration of some sort since the senior years had always been open about their dislike of Dumbledore.  
"I know,"

"I don't like this; I don't like this at all,"

"Stay near the portrait hole and keep ready,"

"Are you always this on edge? Uncle,"

"Draco Malfoy, I really should have you expelled," It was then that he saw Granger.

"Ah, Mudblood Granger," I interrupted,

"Do not say that word in my presence Malfoy," he ignored me and continued on Hermione,

"Are you his new love interest because I can see some similarities between you and Potter's mudblood mother," he threw a photograph at her which she caught and passed to me as she came closer to an apparent place of safety.

"Sir?" I ignored her this time as tears threatened what little composure I had.

"How did you find this? How did you get past my wards?"

"Your passwords the same for everything,"

"That's because it's set to my voice! No-one should be able to …" I cut off as I was stunned. Malfoy holding a muggle voice recorder – it was just surreal. Even Granger seemed taken aback, but of what I couldn't tell.

"Got Flitwick to charm it to work off magic; stupid half-breed didn't even ask what it was for." Malfoy snorted so he was back to his arrogance – how pathetic.

"Could you kindly refrain from insulting your teachers Malfoy, not the best thing for you to be doing in this situation," my wand pointed above his heart, his at mine.

"Why not; seeing as Dumbledore's not here to save you now is he? Just some stupid underage mudblood who hates you," he sniggered, "what could she do against the senior years of Slytherin house combined," he gave a shrill whistle.

"Oh bugger," I grabbed Granger and a handful of flow powder from the mantle, I threw into the fire place; "Gryffindor Common Room," I pushed Granger into the green fire and then blocked the transport link when she was out of harm's way. I turned to face Draco and the rest of my house.

"I do believe your time is up Professor," numerous spells came towards me, I blocked them all, this continued for some minutes until Malfoy looked bored, one killing curse missed me; the next I douched and kept douching until I was close enough to grab his wand. Before anyone could do anything it clattered to the floor in half. Silence as the echo of the snap reverberated around the common room.

"Tell the dark lord you failed, again," I gently handed the two halves back to Draco as he looked like he was about to throw up. My pace quickened as I went back to the service – which was still going on – a sudden scream from Umbridge as the centaurs appeared at the edge of the forest; shooting flaming arrows, they bowed as the headmasters casket was levitated past and then turned back to their home. Their own tribute made – perhaps Firenze had talked some sense in Bane after all. I checked to see if Granger was alright; seemed she was the only one who missed me. I just hoped what Malfoy had said hadn't gotten into that brain of hers – otherwise I'd be next to Dumbledore before long, particularly if Potter and the Weasley's where anything to go by. I must have been in my own little world again as the minister finally got to say his speech that would probably take all day. Only those closest to me and furthest from the minister could hear what sounded like random hissing; was easily understandable to both Potter and myself.

"Do you ever stop talking you pathetic, lowlife substitute of a politician, whomever gave you permission to speck here should also have to deal with your uselessness. You should be kneeling at that tomb, you should be begging his forgiveness; and because he's always been that much more a man than you, he will forgive you saying everyone deserves a second chance. Unlike him you keep failing because you and I, Fudge, are failures – we are the dirt on everyone else's shoes just waiting to be put back were we belong. I already have but you, you are still waiting."  
I could see Potter move towards me, maybe Granger had put him up to it; must have done there was the don't-do-anything-rash look in her eyes, but was it directed at me or Potter?

"Hey Professor; I know Dumbledore meant a lot to you,"

"Yes he did, what's your point?"

"Okay, should we be having this conversation in English or Parseltongue?"

"I'd prefer Parseltongue but the choice is yours," I was staring at Dumbledore's tomb, his final resting place on the grounds; guarding the castle and its occupants. Where the service had moved to only those most loyal, no, only those true friends stayed this far; or where waiting for the others.

"I must say that little speech you gave on Fudge earlier was quiet deep sir. Almost like getting to know you." I glared at him for a second, then continued looking through Albus' tomb.

"What do you mean `deep' Potter?"

"When someone unexpected does or says something that reveals part of their own nature; a part that lets say they've kept hidden for a long time. That's usually what it means but it depends it can also refer to something that is highly emotive, that tugs at your heart strings so to speak."

"Right; so your referring to the former part of that descriptive yes?"

"Indeed I was sir, if I may ask sir what did you do to Hermione? She doesn't look at you in the same way. There's more understanding now,"

"Suffice it to say Potter that Malfoy managed to get me to reveal a part of my nature which has been kept hidden for a long time, is that what you wanted to know?"

"Not really; but that's about as open as you're going to be with me, isn't it?"

"We'll see," I shrugged,

"Did you find Malfoy?" I was not expecting a sudden change of topic that I almost lost control.

"Yes Potter, but that statement would be more accurate if it had been he found me,"

"What happened?"

"There was a Slytherin mutiny the fifth years and above lead by Malfoy. Granger informed me that they weren't at Dumbledore's funeral; I'd dealt with them about it yesterday , I insisted they at least show some respect for the headmaster if they didn't I would inform the relevant people that Hogwarts had some underage death eaters running around being human. In short I blackmailed my own house; in doing so I forgot lesson number one Potter never try to blackmail a Slytherin it may just be the last thing you ever do, almost was."

"I take it Hermione was supposed to be the voice of logic, against your sudden irrational temperament."

"Precisely, only it didn't work like that; they had told Malfoy who came back to finish what he had started. Mainly to kill me but he missed and I douched,"

"You douched the killing curse?" Potter actually seemed impressed by this.

"Yes Potter, I just stepped out of its way, but Draco never paid much attention as to which direction his opponent was moving in. You get the idea," I waited for all of this to sink in.

"So before Malfoy had even shot a curse at you, you had sent Hermione back to Gryffindor Common Room and blocked the floo so no one could get there to attack her or anyone else?"

"Correct."

"From what I've heard then you're one of the most humane assassins ever,"

"What gives you that idea?"

"Simple you beheaded Greyback, even a Gryffindor would have crucio'd him to death; Bellatrix did the Carrow's in, and your brother," I grabbed Potters arm; my eyes must been demented, as he seemed more scared of me than Malfoy had been the other night.

"Never say your brother, he lied to me; he hurt me; he killed his own twin for a woman who didn't have a heart. Or at least she didn't love him; she loved the one whom cannot love." I let go of his arm. I stared at the ground in shame as I trembled.

"Okay, Tobias then; just fell over someone Bellatrix killed. And Draco," I growled that gave Potter enough of a warning.

"Right, Malfoy then; you had every right in the world to kill him but you kept him stunned him even after he kept attacking you." He waited for me to speck but I did not. "I think unlike the rest of them you never liked taking away a life, did you?"

"Never," I whispered it, I always wondered how one word could hold so much emotion. Some much so that even Potter at me strangely – I could feel it. "What?"

"I never imagined you'd be the one to break your godson's wand with your bare hands; or did you only use one hand?"

"What does it matter?"

"He tried to kill you,"

"He had orders as I had orders once, that's the thing that no one understands; this" I pulled up my left sleeve revealing not only the black dark mark but also the lighter grey scars that littered its surface. "This brands us, like your scar Potter in a way it takes away our free will. Do you fear sleep?" he hadn't been expecting the question so I repeated it, "Are you scared to close your eyes at night? Do you fear what you might see, are you scared that you may not wake up again?"

"Wow, that's um, erm completely unexpected. And yes to all of the above." Neither of us had noticed the final person leaving – the hogs head barman.

"Potter, Snape; you can talk in English if you like, I've got a pub to run." He turned away and back again as if he'd forgotten something. "If you need anything my doors are always open; both of you." He stared meaningfully at us, I finally knew why he seemed so familiar to me; before I could ask he silently shock his head – don't. I knew the pleading tone that went with it. He left through the school, I turned to follow him; Potter placed a hand on my arm – I could tell he wanted to help me.

"Sir perhaps we could finish this conversation another night?"

"No Potter," I could see he was deflated, "We will continue this tonight," I swallowed and continued, "Harry; but I think inside." We both looked to the sky, there seemed to be a storm coming with black ominous clouds looming in the foreground. This was not a storm that you could wait out. "Dangers coming Potter,"

"I know; so where are we going?" seemed Potter had finally noticed we were on the wrong level for the dungeons.

"Minerva's office, it has a pleasant feel to it."

"A pleasant feel to it?"

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe? Are we still conversing in parseltongue?"

"Must say it's become a bit of a habit,"

"So yes then," I knocked as I got Minerva's door – just to be sure. I heard a small cry from inside, Potter clearly hadn't.

"Back to the common room Harry; I will get you later," I gently squeezed his shoulder, "Go," finally the boy left. I waited a few minutes to call through door, "Minerva? May I come in?"

"Of course, Severus," I pushed open her door to find her hiccupping on firewhisky; crying over her desk – luckily for the second years their essays had been done – the sixth years essays were not so lucky at escaping her waterworks and of course it had to be Draco Malfoy's handwriting on the page before her.

"Are you alright?"

"No," she hiccupped again.

"Maybe you should drink some tea; it might help with the hiccups." I hadn't expected her to look so enraged by this comment but grief could do strange things to people.

"It's your fault."

"I'm sorry; but how is it my fault?"

"He died protecting you,"

"I didn't ask him to. "I snapped my temper had been short all evening and I didn't need McGonagall blaming me for Malfoys actions.

"But you said headmaster,"

"I was trying to tell him to move or ask him what he was doing but I couldn't get the words out. Pathetic I know."

"Oh,"

"That's it? Oh; you blame me for something that couldn't possibly be my fault and then say oh? Really Minerva how much of that bottle have you had?"

"This is the fifth bottle," her confession was small.

"Fifth? But you should be unconscious by now,"

"I will be in a minute," McGonagall's voice was getting smaller as if she was slipping into sleep; I transported her to the hospital wing. Much I had done with Albus' body. Hopefully Poppy would have better luck helping Minerva. Besides I had a promise to keep. But I was tired, but promise but sleep; but promise. I could sleep another time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Once again I was outside Gryffindor tower; this time I arrived first only as I used Potter's shortcut. I waited another five minutes before Potter finally arrived at his own portrait hole. I noticed he was paler than he had been at Dumbledore's funeral.

"Harry are you alright?"

"No the lower year Slytherin's seem to be in a state of shock; and I don't blame them sir."

"What? Talk to me Potter."

"Zabini, friend of Malfoy said something about him Malfoy; tearing out his own heart due to a lack of a wand, sir."

I sank to the floor outside the fat lady's portrait; we both looked like we'd be sick to our stomachs. But this was Draco he would know the meaning of suicide; and he'd force one of the first years to do it first – well to his logic they were called `first' years for a reason.

"Potter stay in Gryffindor tower, try to sleep and I am sorry for not getting to finish our talk."

"It's okay sir, go sort out your house I'm certain that the rest of the school will help." We nodded to each other as I leapt from the floor and ran back towards my house, if this was true than the Slytherin's would know the true meaning of Slytherin rage. If not well they'd get the softer version of Slytherin rage. I yelled the password at the painting that protected the common room, so much for my vow all those years ago; but this was an emergency.

"For god's sake you oversized doddle open!"

"Insult me all you like Snape I will not open until you get it right; it is a password you use most often." I imagined Draco's words earlier.

"Lily," it was a voice only the woman I loved should hear but now it was the house password; I'd have to pull rank and change that later. Finally the entrance was revealed, on the floor in lake of blood was a body, but it was not Draco Malfoy; it was Tobias Snape. I saw the left arm, so my seemingly goody-goody brother had been marked; and now he was dead. I was the last Snape; again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the short blonde hair of Malfoy. "Draco, are you going to strangle me this time or are you only trying to save your own skin?"

"Own skin," he whispered as he shot out of the portrait hole, which had opened to allow Madame Pomfrey to enter in order to collect the body.

"Wasn't that Malfoy?"

"Yes, I'll get him another day but now Poppy we need to deal with Tobias." I pointed to my brother's hollow form.

"I thought he was,"

"At the base of the astronomy tower?" I finished for her, "So did I," I turned to my mutinous senior year Slytherin's looking far more like first years without Malfoy to guide them. "Was this just an elaborate plot to interrupt my sleep or did you have some plan? Goyle, explain." After a long winded explanation that explained nothing I gave up.  
"Enough, as of tomorrow morning you lot will know how it feels to be Gryffindor's in my class. Unless you behave accordingly to the situation before you; sleep well." I left my house for once all the students were scared of me as opposed to just the small ones. Madame Pomfrey left also but for a nice change she didn't follow me. Not that I wanted to sleep, I had too much to worry about. I had far too many enemies out there.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

When I awoke the next morning I was oddly stuff, when I opened my eyes I knew why. I had slept in my chair, in the great hall; luckily no one was up – yet. So I could perhaps see Poppy – that would please her – me going to her instead of the other way around, how odd. But I did go to the hospital wing. As I expected Pomfrey was ecstatic.

"Poppy stop will you, I just need some Camille tea; and then I'll be out of your hair." "Camille tea?" I repeated again.

"Why?" great now I had to deal with her fury of not sleeping properly.

"I slept in the great hall." My voice was barely above a whisper. Only McGonagall could have picked up on it which she did; damn cat hearing.

"YOU DID WHAT?" her roaring voice certainly woke me up. I sighed as I said again:

"I slept in the great hall,"

"Why would you do something like that?"

"Poppy may I leave?" Minerva was going to leave me with the badger that I had put in a bad mood. Where was her Gryffindor courage or was she more of a cowardly lion?

"Yes of course Minerva; just don't overdo it." But she was gone, and so was my only defence – definitely a cowardly lion. The Matron had her full attention on me; she waited for a response that didn't come. "Well?"

"I don't know."

"What was that?" I could hear Pomfrey's mother-hen voice coming out.

"I'm sorry ok, I couldn't be in the dungeons after breaking Draco's wand and then them saying he'd done that to himself. I just couldn't. Besides its too cold now," I saw her eyebrow raise in a fair expression of myself. "Since Albus doesn't come down and check on me anymore."

"It doesn't feel like home?" she summarised my argument.

"Exactly," she was surprised when my one word answer told her everything. I looked up at her to see a look of shock, nor confusion that I had seen on Potter's face.

"What?"

"I do believe your returning to us from yourself; my child."  
I must say I didn't understand what she meant. Although her face was overly joyous, almost as if Albus had returned form the dead – as I thought it, I had to turn around and check: to see if he had appeared behind me to offer us a lemon drop. Since I was in such an emotional state internally, I had no other options but to cry. Only to be awarded a heart attack look form the matron; she had never seen me like this.  
Not when my father and brother had beaten me senseless over the holidays; not when Black managed to get me to go to the Shack under the Womping Willow, to almost get killed by Lupin; not even when in my humiliated rage I had called Lily a mudblood. Hell, not even when Lily had not forgiven me or when she was murdered; did I ever have such an extreme reaction.

"I miss him, it's my fault Minerva was right; I want him back."

"Want whom back, my child." I could tell that she didn't need to be told but still wanted it to be spoken out loud.

"Albus," my voice was choking on itself. I literally couldn't breathe.

"Severus, calm down. Or do you need me to give you something?"

"Something would be good," I confessed as I tried to calm down but I just couldn't. I didn't want to be the last Snape – not before, not now.

"Easy, drink this," Pomfrey gave me a small clear vial so the liquid inside was honey coloured; I didn't recognise it.

"What is it?"

"Always an inquisitive mind, my child. Just drink and sleep," the matron pushed me onto one of the beds to rest. God knows I needed it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

It's been two days since Pomfrey gave me that potion, it was sickly sweet. And try as I might I couldn't wake up. Whenever I tried I heard both Lily and Albus saying:

"Forgive yourself, we have." But we all knew I had never been very good at forgiving myself. Yet I couldn't help saying:

"I will try." It was then that I heard the laughter of the matron as Minerva stroked my hair; no one else could have gotten away with it, even if I was dead.

"About bloody time you woke up Severus. I will be needing someone to play chess with of an evening." McGonagall, this woman is going to be the death of me. But perhaps she and Poppy could help me forget and therefore learn to forgive.


End file.
